I am the author of my story.
My story matters, and my story isn’t over
~ one of the quotes written inside the cover of my first year of sobriety journal (sorry, I can’t find who wrote/said this)
In these entries, I am digesting the first astrology reading I had a few days prior. It clearly resonated with me and spurred my subconscious to try to get my conscious mind’s attention with some detailed metaphorical dreams. The dream I recount unpacked a critical life choice - to marry my ex, then stay with him longer than was safe, only to come to the realization later that I could have walked away and found support somehow. It was reading this entry a few weeks back that stopped me in my tracks and caused me to pause this project so I could do some healing in real time.
I think this dream is about more than my ex. He represents the hold that traditional society held over me, still held over me at the time I wrote this entry. My subconscious was starting to show me that I was unhappily married to my career and the role I played as a career woman. That in the end, that was just a story, and I could easily make up another one that felt true to me.
I see that this time of my life was a turning point. My sobriety was reliable, and from that solid foundation, which I had never had before, I could start the work my soul signed me up for. I had started meditating to rewire my brain and it was working. I was opening up to Spirit, only I didn’t call it that or comprehend it as such.
I talk about hair and makeup in these entries, and that is because I had decided it was time to get new professional photos, as my company headshot was years’ old. That photo shoot would start another breadcrumb trail, much like the trail which led me to my first astrology reading, only this trail would lead to writing, which had already started coming up in meditation.
Jump back to Day 1:
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