Here I go starting to talk about the transition from corporate worker to lightworker/TBD else

Communicating with embodied people has always been a challenge for me. Of course, I can only phrase it in this particular way now that I have been communicating with non-embodied people, or the spirit realm. While I am compelled to write about how I went from compliantly successful worker in the 3-D world to lightworker in the 5-D, that inherent awkwardness in communicating with my fellow embodied souls makes it really tough. 

I could easily explain it using the language of my astrological birth chart, but I would lose at least 98% of people, so I have to try in plain English. First, I will say what my spiritual awakening was not. It was not me sitting in my corporate garb in a meeting suddenly hearing a chorus of angels drown out the drone of an annoying co-worker, or seeing the conference room ceiling part and God’s finger pointing at me. While we may have seen a version of that in a movie, what actually happened to me was much more subtle and internal. 

Every time over the last few months I have been nudged to write about it, my conditioned mind shakes its head. Too hard. Too weird. too unbelievable. So I knew exactly why I was getting the nudge. Being weird, being different, not belonging, not being believed. My worst fears, going back to childhood and before. Don’t we all instinctively avoid that which we suspect will bring shame, fear, and pain?

No, I told the nudge repeatedly, people already think I am weird enough! I have shared about so many things that have gotten me kicked out of polite society already in this last year: sobriety, astrology, intentionally separating from my mother. Sharing about how I came to be able to communicate with the other realm, with animals, with plants - well, it’s just a lot to ask! 

Backing up, “they” (collectively, Spirit) were the ones who made me understand that I am here to share my story as a beacon to others. To reveal that I was pretending to be okay when I totally wasn’t, just like they may be. To provide evidence that they are not alone in their pain. In feeling different, unlovable, unable to be believed, broken beyond repair. Despite looking just fine on the surface.

And in so doing, I would work on healing my own misfit syndrome. I had to trust that allowing that which almost killed me from the inside out to fully decay in a visible way would release its power over me for good. Gulp!

Photo by Marc-Olivier Jodoin on Unsplash

So, no, I didn’t one day pick up an astrology book and decide that looked like a fun career and go dancing off into the cosmos in a new bedazzled wardrobe, not giving a hoot about what all of the people I had contorted myself to belong with over the last 50 years thought.

There was a symphony of beautiful synchronicities and hard to accept realities in between the day I had my first astrology reading in February of 2023 and the first time I connected to Spirit in October 2023. And through the project of sharing my journal entries from my first year of sobriety (also an ask from Spirit), I see the breadcrumbs being laid out as far back as December 2022. And in the pages and pages I have written these last two years, I see that I have manifested the life I desired. It just didn’t feel like the form of manifestation I was familiar with through the memes I used to see (“used to”, because Spirit also lead me away from Social Media and popular TV early on).

So, I am going to try communicating more here about what has been a lot of work (lightworkers can’t escape the ‘work’ part) and a lot of divinity. I will share my experience with surrender and choice (it’s not a matter of one or the other, after all).

To end for now, though, I cannot help but share some of my astrology.

I have heard this type of chart called an “angel” chart, in reference to the close connection to source/Heaven/creator that is indicated by a prominent twelfth house. I am by no means calling myself an angel!

My birth chart meets this criteria because it has a cluster (called a stellium) of planets in the twelfth house, including both benefics (generally bringing gifts), Venus and Jupiter, plus Uranus, which carries unconscious memories, and asteroid Hekate, which represents abilities navigating liminal spaces. The twelfth house is a house where culmination happens, where there is a return to source. We ‘angels’ have one foot (or toe) here on Earth and the rest of us inhabits other realms. No wonder I had such a hard time bridging the divide with mere words.