Some of Us Are Just Here to Grind
Sorry, not sorry! It’s Human Design we need to thank
What to do when faced with Rise and Grind memes, while at the same time wordly studious people are positing that we are looking at the End Stages of Extractive Capitalism? Should I be ashamed if I actually like hard work? Am I sick? A bad seeker of justice for all of us non-millionaires?
That is a lot to be faced with at 6 a.m. Thankfully, my day usually starts with a snorting dog sticking her nose and stinky breath in my face as she sidles up to the side of the bed, my sweet fluffy Akita alarm clock.
I have gone through some stuff lately wondering what is wrong with me. I quit working for The Man nearly 2 months ago, yet still I wake with a fire in my belly and a list in my head: meditate to align chakras/sit in my power, spend time outside with my dog kicking the soccer ball while drinking coffee (just try that some time!), walk dog, sit down at computer to work (fix website, make podcast, make free resources, become a YouTube star overnight), do Power Zone workout on my Peloton, figure out dinner, make it to the yoga studio because I need the community there, etc. Don’t I seem a bit insane?
As I stood there about to get dressed this morning pondering this particular aspect of the question What is Wrong with Me, in the shadow of the recent eclipse which made me question my relationship to myself (especially now that I am my own boss), I had an ah-hah.
The truth is, I love doing. I really, really love doing things. I would marry it if I could (wait, did I?). I love doing a lot, as much as possible, in the time I have. Some time in the last year, I learned that my Human Design is a Generator. Even if you know nothing about human design, know that the odds are that you are also a Generator. Generators (and Manifesting Generators) are the builders of all the things. For ~70% of the population, it is a big part of our reason for existing (maybe the primary reason).
I must shout out to the Manifestors, Projectors, and Reflectors! Goddess bestowed you with mysterious (to me) gifts, and sadly I am far too busy doing shit to fully understand exactly what you are doing or being. But I know you are keeping something important going so I don’t have to stop what I am doing. So thank you.
I guess the point of this ramble is to feel into what makes you hum. Really allow yourself to feel it. To own it. To love it. Don’t overexplain it (as I just did), or apologize for being that way. Just be you in the way that feels right. Because if we fight it, then something is probably going to go seriously wrong with the balance in the Universe. And we have enough problems right now without finding out what fresh hell that would be.