Mentioned in this entry:
Finding Your Best Self: Recovery from Addiction, Trauma, or Both. Underneath my alcohol addiction were layers of types of trauma. This workbook was a helpful place to start. Yes, I had gone to therapy for the big T trauma and resulting PTSD, but there was much more to be mined if I wanted to remove the crutch of alcohol for good.
The BFB is a Facebook group for people wanting to live a life without alcohol. I can’t recommend this group highly enough! There is so much wisdom, support, and humor to be had for free. Lurkers are welcome to soak it all up, but I have found that contributing to the community, whether it was asking for help or sharing wins, to be key. I am on there every day.
Expand Beyond Recovery is a group led by the wonderful trauma informed yoga instructor and sobriety coach (& more), Payton Kennedy. I still participate in this group of amazing women, and next up for book club we are reading Grounded Wildness: Break Free from Performing Your Life and Start Living It.
Closing the curtain on the performance that was the ‘normal’ self that separated (likely back in childhood) from my real - traumatized - self has been tough. But once my real self saw it was safe to come out, she has been pretty cool and courageous!
What jumped out at me in this entry was the fact that I mentioned that I had gained one pound over the holidays. One. First, YAY that it struck me as bizarre, just two years later. Second, diet culture is really hard to break free from, so if you struggle with this, please don’t give up, you can break free from this, too.
Warning: This may be boring to those who have never wanted to live a life without alcohol in it. I am offering these peeks into the challenges and personal growth I experienced in my first year of sobriety because it may offer hope or at least a sort of roadmap for birthing an alcohol-free life. Sort of a version of “What to Expect When You’re Expecting”, that standby book all expectant moms had shoved into their hands in the 90s.
If you are new and interested, jump back to the May 3, 2024 post. It was getting tedious to type these out (nothing creative in that!) so I switched to the audio feature. Feel free to email me with any comments.
Love & Joy, Maria Luz
My First Year Without Alcohol Journal Entries