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Lyns McCracken's avatar

Got caught up on your journal entries this morning. It brings me back but I also feel like you were light years ahead of where I am now in your first few months sober. Up until recently, if I had a nightmare about past trauma I’d be down for weeks, spiraling, making it worse. I let them control me. Now I embrace the nightmares as a sign from my guides that I need to cleanse, that I’m on the brink of a breakdown, that something is out of alignment. I use them as an early warning mechanism.

As for the sugar, well, I have wrangled in all the other substances except for this one. For over 3 years I’ve just been using the excuse that at least it’s not alcohol and carbs be damned. Recovering from eating disorders and a fucked society, I’m triggered at the thought of showing any dietary restraint due to conflicting motives. I want to start approaching it in a way that releasing this hold may help open me up spiritually or at least have a better grasp on my body and mind. We’ll see. Sugar is my last hangup, my final distraction.

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Maria Luz O'Rourke's avatar

I am with you on the nightmares. It is so vulnerable and scary, and it has taken me a long time to go to bed feeling like I will be okay even if I have one, or worse, the sleep paralysis type. I still leave the hall light on most nights, though. Of course, Spirit's way of pushing me to get over my fear was to give me a dog who doesn't like sleeping with me or even in my room, and my son a graveyard shift job!

As for sugar, funny, I was just responding to a post about this on my sobriety FB group (BFB). I think a lot of my concern in early sobriety was diet culture and not trusting myself as opposed to any imbalance in nutrition or concern like that.

I really love baking and the ritual of a nightly treat, so I do still indulge regularly!

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Lyns McCracken's avatar

I used to do protection prayers before bed that I got from Mat Auryn’s Psychic Witch book. I would also leave lime wedges all over my room (tip from @jessicalynnmediumship on Instagram). I wanted to protect my sleep at all costs and avoid the nightmares. And it helped a lot! Nothing ever happened. I was winning at sleep boundaries! 😄

But I ultimately stopped because I wanted to open myself up to spirits, even when sleeping. These tools were blocking me from all dreams and I do think dream space is a great place to get guidance and signs and blessings from loved ones. I didn’t want to miss out on all of that. But I do have these tricks in my back pocket for days when I’m feeling extra raw and vulnerable. Let me know if you want me to send you my old pre-bedtime ritual. But it sounds like you have it all under control. (And I too sleep with nightlights and hall lights on, etc. lol.)

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Maria Luz O'Rourke's avatar

Yes! I totally agree about the dreamspace being so helpful for many reasons, and not closing it off. I do feel more confident that I can handle anything weird that comes up, even if that means calling in angels, guides, or my dad.

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Barb Natividad 🇵🇭🇺🇸's avatar

It’s great you realized you’re worthy because you are!

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Maria Luz O'Rourke's avatar

Thank you Barb 💗

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