TW for this audio entry: nightmares, alcohol use disorder, air travel
I am offering these peeks into my journal entries from my first year of sobriety, which describe the challenges and personal growth I experienced. I hope to offer hope or at least a sort of roadmap for an alcohol-free life.
If you are new and interested, jump back to the May 3, 2024 Day 1 post (I wasn’t doing audio then).
Love & Joy, Maria Luz
Day 75 - 78 journal entry notes
Within these entries, I see a glimpse of the magical among the mundane (so many lists! but they did their job and kept me focused). I refer to a bathroom moment (taking a breather from another work dinner where alcohol flowed) thinking about something Christine Dickerson said in an interview on one of the many sobriety podcasts I listened to. I goofed and it was Kristin Dickerson. She is a journalist, and was stuck in cognitive dissonance (like I was for decades), wanting to stop drinking but struggling to do so. She finally told God she was giving up alcohol as an offering in the hopes of receiving knowledge of her purpose. At the time, I was neither religious nor spiritual, but something really resonated with me when I heard that. Now, I know that was one of the early breadcrumbs that eventually led me to the work I do now. It was wild to see that!
I continue to be amazed at how much I changed on the inside over the course of that first 3 months without alcohol, without anything changing in my external world. That misalignment would start showing itself to me as a crack here or there, until I was eventually facing large crevasses like I imagine mountain climbers face. I don’t read ahead before the day I record these, so I am curious to see when those come up!
I frequently mention “The BFB” in my journal. This is a private Facebook group, The Booze Free Brigade. To be eligible to join, you just need to want to remove alcohol from your life. Search for ‘Elizabeth Cloud’ whose avatar is a Penguin, and send a friend request.
I mentioned two podcasts, which you can search wherever you listen: To 50 & Beyond, hosted by Lori Massicot, and Practicing Human, hosted by Cory Moscara (he doesn’t make new episodes, but I receive his texts, which are awesome).
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