Thank you for being here and for sharing this so vulnerably. I love that he is working from within to make change. So courageous. I hope he heals soon! This was very much needed.
P.S. does your son also have a Substack or did I dream that?
Oh and no, you didn't dream it! My older son, GianniO (I think that's his Stack’s name) who is in the band Naked Giants (they also recently moved their mailing list to Substack).
Thank you so much, Maria. I'm grateful you shared this in the midst of untangling yourself. It has been such an entangling week here, dealing with immigration for our daughter in law, dealing with emergencies with my mother, too many trips to and from airports hours away, and Life. Overall, it has been visits to all three realms. But I am thankful for the small wins of stepping back, journaling through my feelings, giving myself permission to go to bed and 8 PM and turn off the phone so I could rest and recharge for another day. (Yes, there were 7 urgent messages this morning, but I am rested after interesting dreams of 'Sailor Moon'!??!) My writer brain chants, "All of life happens en medius res." Be Here Now. And be grateful for the wise helpers. Thank you! 🌿💚
I love Thich Nhat Hanh's writing and how you found the perfect teaching for your situation, Maria. Thanks for sharing this highly relatable story. Happy weekend. Keep up your herbalism. You inspire me. 🙏🌷
Oh thank you so much, Robin, that means a lot to me! That little book is so helpful. When I have a mediumship client, I flip to a random page for a message and it always has something to do with what happens in the session, making it even more meaningful. So yesterday, I thought, maybe it will help me with this little situation!
Maria, Your experience resonates with me, especially as a mother to a son in his mid-twenties. When he moved out to attend college, I felt the shift deeply. I don’t get to see him as often as I’d like, and I understand that he wants to live his life on his own terms. It’s been a journey for me to learn how to ‘let go’—staying connected while recognizing that they are both adults now. While I’ll always be their mother, the relationship has evolved in ways that can sometimes be challenging. There are moments when their choices differ from what I might have envisioned for them, which can be difficult to accept.
Reflecting on my past, I recognize that I may have been more controlling than I intended to be. My children grew up in an environment influenced by my own anxieties, and while they know I care deeply about their safety and well-being, I’ve had to learn to separate my fears rooted in past experiences from our current reality. My mind often drifts to worrying about the ‘what ifs,’ even though I realize those are things beyond my control. Nonetheless, my love for them remains unwavering.
Recently, I’ve found myself reminiscing about their younger years. The metaphor of “holding hands” represents such a delicate trust and connection. I still vividly recall the warmth of my son’s small hand in mine and a traumatic moment when he almost lost his finger as a child. His screams still echo in my memory as I rushed him to the hospital. That experience left a mark on both of us, and we’ve shared a conversation about how it impacted our lives.
When you mentioned the idea of “reaching out,” I couldn’t help but feel a spark of hope. Perhaps that’s what I still long for—the ongoing connection, the moments of reaching out to stay in touch. It’s not easy when they’re not physically present. I often wonder about their lives and engage in activities to help me feel less consumed by those thoughts.
The concept of “entanglement being the disconnect between desires” is new to me, and it’s definitely something I want to reflect on further. I often contemplate the roles we play in our lives and how we sometimes expect others to fit into our narratives. Unconsciously, I had crafted scripts for my children, and it was disheartening when they expressed a desire to break free from those roles. It made me realize how important it is to step back and appreciate their individuality. They are growing into independent, thoughtful, and caring individuals, and that brings me joy despite the challenges.
I appreciate your mention of the book “Your True Home.” It aligns with themes I’m currently exploring. The idea of Pure Land feels aspirational, yet I believe it’s worth pursuing. I’ve discovered that trying to control or fix every situation doesn’t always lead to the outcomes I desire. Exploring the complexities of anger and ignorance while dealing with entanglements and expectations is an enlightening journey, especially in the context of mother-son relationships. It’s clear that reframing my relationship with my son is necessary, and I’m committed to nurturing a healthier connection. Thank you for your insights.
Oh my, that sounds harrowing about your son and his finger, Anna!
There is something so visceral when I think about past close calls or imagine the worst when they take risks. I don't think that will ever go away. I just hope to open up space for all of the other feelings, like you say, the love, for sure, and also understanding from their perspective why they choose what they do!
Thank you for sharing. You are not alone. It helps to know others are examining beliefs and behaviors for the purpose of understanding oneself and one another more fully. It helps us all to live more freely, at least I hope so!
Thank you for being here and for sharing this so vulnerably. I love that he is working from within to make change. So courageous. I hope he heals soon! This was very much needed.
P.S. does your son also have a Substack or did I dream that?
Aww you are welcome 🤗
Oh and no, you didn't dream it! My older son, GianniO (I think that's his Stack’s name) who is in the band Naked Giants (they also recently moved their mailing list to Substack).
Subscribed!! 😍
Saving to have a listen a little later today.
Thank you so much, Maria. I'm grateful you shared this in the midst of untangling yourself. It has been such an entangling week here, dealing with immigration for our daughter in law, dealing with emergencies with my mother, too many trips to and from airports hours away, and Life. Overall, it has been visits to all three realms. But I am thankful for the small wins of stepping back, journaling through my feelings, giving myself permission to go to bed and 8 PM and turn off the phone so I could rest and recharge for another day. (Yes, there were 7 urgent messages this morning, but I am rested after interesting dreams of 'Sailor Moon'!??!) My writer brain chants, "All of life happens en medius res." Be Here Now. And be grateful for the wise helpers. Thank you! 🌿💚
Well Leenie, it sounds like a lot of happening, three realms for sure!
I am glad you gave yourself time to settle. I suspect you are often the anchor for your family and unsettled anchors are not helpful!
Sailor Moon! How cool! I love that energy 🤗
I love Thich Nhat Hanh's writing and how you found the perfect teaching for your situation, Maria. Thanks for sharing this highly relatable story. Happy weekend. Keep up your herbalism. You inspire me. 🙏🌷
Oh thank you so much, Robin, that means a lot to me! That little book is so helpful. When I have a mediumship client, I flip to a random page for a message and it always has something to do with what happens in the session, making it even more meaningful. So yesterday, I thought, maybe it will help me with this little situation!
Bibliomancy! ✨️
Yes, a lovely practice for anyone, but especially us bibliophiles! 📚
Maria, Your experience resonates with me, especially as a mother to a son in his mid-twenties. When he moved out to attend college, I felt the shift deeply. I don’t get to see him as often as I’d like, and I understand that he wants to live his life on his own terms. It’s been a journey for me to learn how to ‘let go’—staying connected while recognizing that they are both adults now. While I’ll always be their mother, the relationship has evolved in ways that can sometimes be challenging. There are moments when their choices differ from what I might have envisioned for them, which can be difficult to accept.
Reflecting on my past, I recognize that I may have been more controlling than I intended to be. My children grew up in an environment influenced by my own anxieties, and while they know I care deeply about their safety and well-being, I’ve had to learn to separate my fears rooted in past experiences from our current reality. My mind often drifts to worrying about the ‘what ifs,’ even though I realize those are things beyond my control. Nonetheless, my love for them remains unwavering.
Recently, I’ve found myself reminiscing about their younger years. The metaphor of “holding hands” represents such a delicate trust and connection. I still vividly recall the warmth of my son’s small hand in mine and a traumatic moment when he almost lost his finger as a child. His screams still echo in my memory as I rushed him to the hospital. That experience left a mark on both of us, and we’ve shared a conversation about how it impacted our lives.
When you mentioned the idea of “reaching out,” I couldn’t help but feel a spark of hope. Perhaps that’s what I still long for—the ongoing connection, the moments of reaching out to stay in touch. It’s not easy when they’re not physically present. I often wonder about their lives and engage in activities to help me feel less consumed by those thoughts.
The concept of “entanglement being the disconnect between desires” is new to me, and it’s definitely something I want to reflect on further. I often contemplate the roles we play in our lives and how we sometimes expect others to fit into our narratives. Unconsciously, I had crafted scripts for my children, and it was disheartening when they expressed a desire to break free from those roles. It made me realize how important it is to step back and appreciate their individuality. They are growing into independent, thoughtful, and caring individuals, and that brings me joy despite the challenges.
I appreciate your mention of the book “Your True Home.” It aligns with themes I’m currently exploring. The idea of Pure Land feels aspirational, yet I believe it’s worth pursuing. I’ve discovered that trying to control or fix every situation doesn’t always lead to the outcomes I desire. Exploring the complexities of anger and ignorance while dealing with entanglements and expectations is an enlightening journey, especially in the context of mother-son relationships. It’s clear that reframing my relationship with my son is necessary, and I’m committed to nurturing a healthier connection. Thank you for your insights.
Oh my, that sounds harrowing about your son and his finger, Anna!
There is something so visceral when I think about past close calls or imagine the worst when they take risks. I don't think that will ever go away. I just hope to open up space for all of the other feelings, like you say, the love, for sure, and also understanding from their perspective why they choose what they do!
Thank you for sharing. You are not alone. It helps to know others are examining beliefs and behaviors for the purpose of understanding oneself and one another more fully. It helps us all to live more freely, at least I hope so!
Yes. Let’s enjoy and celebrate our freedom. Always.
What a true Mom you are! Those kids won the lottery with you. That’s a lot of love! 💗
Thank you sister 💓
I'm enjoying your newsletter! As an astrologer (among many things) I just want say how much I appreciate your insights!
If you ever want to collaborate, I write about people--mainly artists & musicians and then see what pops out in their natal charts:
- https://open.substack.com/pub/visualliquid/p/musicastrology-this-beauty-bout-to
I'm developing a podcast--still with my co-host, and I'm looking for a fellow astrologers to corroborate charts with for our guest’s interviews.
Thank you Tess! I would love to collaborate on analyzing charts on a podcast or in writing.
And my older son is a musician and daughter is an artist, so your subject matter is all the more special to me.
Ooh neat! Let’s talk! I have a workshop to prepare for tomorrow but after?
Sounds good, just DM me ☺️